BlogTikus

Happy birth day beloved bee, forgive me for all the shit that i have done, and lets ride in together again.

Whenever i take a step forward there’s always a thing push me to turn back and i cant go on, defeated, and powerless, wtf’in life it is.

ketika aku mulai lelah terkadang berharap aku ngga pernah dilahirkan, bad childhood and getting worse as i am getting older, fiuh mungkin terlalu banyak dosa yang aku bawa ke dunia so now i need to pay em with pain, tears and sorry.

Now i am restructuring my long way road to the dream i’ve been dreaming of with spirit that up and down, flyway and degraded uh GOD I am so so so tired.

Some says

Pain, fail and tears are the essences of life as guidances from the beyond

but i am too weak and too blind to see it.

Desperados

Bagiku engkau seperti silinder kaca
mengurai sinar mentari menjadi berjuta warna

Bagiku engkau adalah titik embun malam
membiaskan sinar bulan menjadi pelangi dalam gelap

Bagiku engkau adalah jejak langkah
untuk semua mimpi dan kenangan indah

Bagiku engkau seperti cahaya
beri aku terang ketika yang lain padam

Meski pernah sekali kau menjadi luka
tenggelamkan aku dalam sepi tanpa warna, tanpa makna

Tapi engkau tetaplah kupu-kupu indahku
di masa lalu, masa kini dan waktuku nanti

Untukmu, Ruby & Joe

Buat Tuhan di surga,

Tonight i am laying down in Your way asking the same simple thing, cukup lama sejak terakhir kali aku meminta hal yang sama dari Mu, since You seem forsaken me alone in the dark, Kau biarkan tujuan hidupku keluar dari jalanku, Kau biarkan aku membuat kesalahan yang ku sesali dengan air mata dan mungkin akan kusesali dengan hidupku, i am half dead, You knew it but seems You no longer care.

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When it comes in mind (again) and hurt inside down, speechless, powerless, no choices but tearing, am i think about it too much? i did not want to, it just like that, comes and goes, forgive me.

I am Powerless, bee!

My father said once,

Hidup adalah keputusan, setiap keputusan ada konsekuensi
be wise.

Hidup adalah pengorbanan, setiap pengorbanan ada balasan
be sincere

Hidup adalah penderitaan, setiap penderitaan mengandung hikmah
learn it

Hidup adalah peperangan, setiap peperangan ada kemenangan dan kekalahan
be hardy

Tetapi keputusan, pengorbanan, penderitaan dan peperangan ada untuk satu tujuan,
fight for it

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What a wonderful night, just a coulpe hours ride and all those shits kissed all away (hey u all svcks get outta ma head), and the sunshine is back (hoooraay!)

Rumah mungil, halaman yang hijau, sinar matahari yang cerah, **k di balkon (uhmmm delicious), dream goes on …

Mom i am proud for being your son, as i am proud for being her man, this is the life i’ve been searching for years, all the darkness has gone away.

GiZ thanks for being my light and i am thankful for your love and patience.

Mom & dad, i’ll come home stronger, with the ‘lil butterfly by my side,
nothing to worry about, and i am thankfull for your love.

…
I’ve seen enough now, to know that the beautiful things dont always stay that way
I’ve done enough now, to know that this beautiful place isn’t everything they say
…
Like the prodigal son, I was out of my own
now i’am trying to find my way back home
…
To the praying mother and the worried father, let your children go
if they come back, they’ll come home stronger, and if they don’t you’ll know
…

Flying up high with the ‘lil butterfly by my side.